How far I’ve come

It’s funny when i look back over the last 5 years and realise how much I’ve actually changed and how much of a better person I’ve become. despite what some people may think. I’ve come further then i thought i ever would. 3 years ago i wouldn’t have even been able to tell you if I’d make it to see my 18th birthday with all the shit i was putting myself through, some of those being personal battles that i doubt i could have ever gotten through without the help of Eli Simpson, Kristy-Lee Robb, Courtney Lodder and Steph Schultz. and some being problems I went through with my family. I can honestly say, as of today, that things between my family and myself are as perfect as they’ve ever been, but i can’t honestly say I’m completely happy with myself. I’m still battling personal battles with myself.
Eli, I know I haven’t been the bestfriend to you, like I should be, and I really am truly sorry, I’m trying to get better with myself because I don’t want to bring you down with me.. So for that I’m sorry for not being there for you, when you always were for me.
Kristy, I miss you with every part of me, you’re my sister and my wifey. I wish I could be there for you, to see you smile and laugh.
Steph, You are still and always will be my best girl friend. I’m sorry for all the shit we went through, I miss you so much.
and Courtney Lodder You’re always going to be my sister. I’m so happy that with all the shit we’ve been through, we still manage to sort our shit out and get back to being friends, no matter what. I love you

did cut my hair the other night. so very very happy with it :)

did cut my hair the other night. so very very happy with it :)

This is my new baby.
i brought him the other day :)
it’s a bat encased in acrylic. I’m so ecstatic. i absolutely adore him

This is my new baby.

i brought him the other day :)

it’s a bat encased in acrylic. I’m so ecstatic. i absolutely adore him

ladadada

The last guy that upset you texts you and says “I’m really sorry for screwing up, forgive me?” What do you say?
“always”

Do you find smoking unattractive?
I Do, so why would i.

When is your birthday?
3rd December

What song are you listening to? Does it remind you of anyone/anything?
Lifehouse - Everything

reminds me of Doug <3

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
A little

Have you ever slept on your couch with someone else?
mmhmm

Would you like the ability to read minds?
Kind of

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
No

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Doug

Did anyone hurt you in the past couple days?
Nope

What happened last night?
Worked and slept

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
When Doug gets home

Say something to one person without naming them.
I love you.

Are you probably going to get hurt anytime soon?
Who Knows

How do you feel about the person you like?
I LOVE him, Not like.

and i can’t even begin to describe how i feel

Why don’t you date your ex?
ugh. cause his a cockwit

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Doug is a couple years older then me

Who was the last person to tell you they loved you?
My nan or Doug.

Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it?
hmmm….. some cockhead

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Definitely

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope

How does your hair look?
messy but greeat

Who was the last person that text messaged you?
Doug

Who last called you?
Mum

When get dressed, do you put on your bottoms or your top first?
Whichever i grab first.

If the person you like showed up to your door RIGHT NOW, how would you react?
well, his at work, so he wouldn’t but i’d jump on him, then tell him to go back to work or ask if his feeling ok

How late did you stay up last night and why?
bout 11ish

How long can you go without your cell phone?
not long.

What color are your eyes?
green

What color is your hair?
Multicoloured

What was the last thing you cried over?
Some stupid customer

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theatre?
just the other day. to see the lucky one

Do you regret anything you’ve done lately?
no.

Do you have secrets that no one knows?
Doug knows basically everything

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says “I still love you” What do you say?
punch him in the face, then tell him to back the hell off and its over.

Honestly, who are the last five texts from?
doug.

Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Yeh.

Math or English?
English.

Would you ever smile at a stranger?
I Have to.

Is any part of you sad at all?
always

What is a word you say a lot?
Fuck/Cunt

Do you think you can last in a relationship for over 6 months?
Defs

Look to your left, what do you see?
my Bat encased in acrylic.

At the moment, are you ticked off at someone?
Nope.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
interwebs

If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?
house, car, license, clothes, shoes .

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
always

Parent figures….

Things don’t always stay the way we think they should…….

We spend our lives. always with a parent figure telling us what to do, how to live our life. Even after we leave home. Our bosses then turn into our parent figure…

The cycle is never ending.. “do this”, “do that”, “wear this”, “don’t wear that”. It’s on-going.

My question is……

WHY!!!

When are we supposed to get a break. We stress everyday, over the stupidest problems.

But no-one is fully aware of that one.

So please, someone, anyone. Tell me why we let these people lead our lives for us….

loving my hair right now.
need to redye it though.

hate waiting for my man to get home so we can get ready to go to swan hill so he can go race.
i love these weekends, as much as they kill my deaf ear, its always lots of fun seeing how excited and nervous he gets, even if he wont admit it, he defs gets nervous :)i love my bestfriend.

loving my hair right now.

need to redye it though.

hate waiting for my man to get home so we can get ready to go to swan hill so he can go race.

i love these weekends, as much as they kill my deaf ear, its always lots of fun seeing how excited and nervous he gets, even if he wont admit it, he defs gets nervous :)
i love my bestfriend.

dont mind the shitty webcam.
chilling at home waiting to go to work at 4:30pm. so bored. found my boyfriend&#8217;s racing shoes. listening to a dubstep version of Crush on you originally by aaron carter. Damn boyfriend getting me hooked on some dubstep. i used to hate this stuff.
my second photoshoot with Bel tomorrow, so looking forward to it, but extremely nervous cause ill have like barely anything on and its gunna be FREEZING!!!

life is almost perfect :)

dont mind the shitty webcam.

chilling at home waiting to go to work at 4:30pm. so bored. found my boyfriend’s racing shoes. listening to a dubstep version of Crush on you originally by aaron carter. Damn boyfriend getting me hooked on some dubstep. i used to hate this stuff.

my second photoshoot with Bel tomorrow, so looking forward to it, but extremely nervous cause ill have like barely anything on and its gunna be FREEZING!!!

life is almost perfect :)

courtneyymareee:

We’ll stagger home after midnightSleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell We’ll fall apart on the weekendThese nights go on and on and on.






why you so bootiful miss

courtneyymareee:

We’ll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell 
We’ll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on.

why you so bootiful miss

Christopher Robert Pennell
&#8220;Doug&#8221;

Christopher Robert Pennell

“Doug”

(Source: mystandards, via courtneyymareee)

omg

my baby girl is finally home.
ive missed her sooooooo much.

had a cry on the phone to mum after the girls left
buuuut i think she’s pregnant. :/

my bestfriend

my bestfriend

srsly what!!!

Are you spending the weekend with the last person you kissed?
Yup Yup

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted?
No. 

Are you nice to everyone?
Nope. 

Is it possible to be single and happy?
Yupp

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?
Really Does.

Waiting for something?
In A Way

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
Nope

Whats something that can always make you feel better?
Cuddles from my bestfriend

Who knows your biggest secrets?
Dougg

Think of the last song you listened to. Who sings it?
Uhmm idk

What color eyes did the last person who talked to you?
Brown

The last time you kissed someone, what time of day was it?
Nighttt

Do you regret your last kiss?
Never. 

Are you a jealous person?
Not overlyyy

Why are you happy?
Because his amazing 

Who’s the last person you hugged?
Doug

Did the last person you kissed mean anything to you?
Course

Are you drifting away from someone you were close with?
No?

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with?
Nope.  Already have

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap?
Yep

Have a best friend?
I do. 

Do you have any text messages that you don’t want other people reading?
Nope. 

What do you want right now?
For someone to be cuddling me right nowwwww

What would you name your future son?
Skayden

Or

Dreyko

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Hmmmm IDK

How’s your life lately?
Right now. Almost Perfect

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?
Heaps of people. 

Have you done anything embarrassing lately?
possibly

Do you trust easily?
Kinda. if you lose it though, its hard to get back

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them?
Sometimes. 

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
Doug

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Doug

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them?
Mostly

Will this weekend be a good one?
Most possibly

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Always. 

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
Nopee. 

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?
I am. 

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
Ew No

Have you ever been in love?
I am currently.

Ever cut your own hair?
Always do. 

Had sex at school?
No.

Is there someone who you instantly smile when you receive a message from?
Defs

Are you disappointed in anyone?
Kind of. 

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
Pissed off or thinking heaps. or just around people i dont know

What were you doing at 3am this morning?
Sleeping. 

Will you be driving in a year?
Id hope so. 

Where is your biological father right now?
At His house?

Do you like anyone at the moment?
I love someone

How many tattoos would you get?
LOTS! 

Where’s your phone right now?
On the couch.

Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?
No. 

Who was your last missed call from?
Uhm Fucked if i know

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be?
Tongue or hips

What woke you up this morning?
Body clock. 

Who was your last text from?
Chris

Is someone taller than you?
Heaps. 

Did you know anybody that has committed suicide?
:(

Who do you go to for advice the most?
Hmmm

Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret?
Kept it a secret

Can money buy happiness?
Not true happiness

Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe?
Doug

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Yeah :) 

Do you know that someone is thinking about you right now?
Doug most likely, even though his sitting near me -.-”

How many people do you 100% trust?
uhm..

Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship?
Possibly

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
No thanks.

Do you think that you’re a good person?
yes

Do you believe in love at first sight?
In A way

Do you hate the last girl you were texting?
No. 

Do you like winter time?
LOVE!

i miss my kitty :’(

1. First thing you wash in the shower?

My hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?

Black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yes. Many Many many times over

4.Do you plan outfits?

Sometimes

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?

Content.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?

My bag

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?

Neither.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

It was a nightmare.

i was standing at the showgrounds where i used to live with doug, everyone was screaming and running around and doug said “what the fuck” i lifted my head to tell him to shuttup and saw some guy with a knife, i pur my hand up to punch him and he stabbed my hand right through the middle.

i woke up with my hand throbbing and stinging

9. Did you meet anybody new today?

Nope.

10. What are you craving right now?

His cuddles.

11. Do you floss?

Nope.

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

yuck

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?

never

14. Are you emotional?

I can be, yes.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?

omg, taco song? where!!!

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?

Nope.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

Bite.

18. Do you like your hair?

I love my hair.

19. Do you like yourself?

meh

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

yes

21. Do you like cottage cheese?

Yes.

22. What are you listening to right now?

Doug talk shit :)

23. How many countries have you visited?

Just Australia.

24. Are your parents strict?

nope

25. Would you go sky diving?

Fuck yes.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?

ew no

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?

yes

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?

Nope.

29. Have you ever been in a castle?

Nope.

30. Do you rent movies often?

Nope

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?

I Dont attend maths

32. Have you made a prank phone call?

Yeah.

33. Do you own a gun?

No, And I never will.

34. Can you count backwards from 74?

meh

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?

doug and chris

36. Brown or white eggs?

…theres brown eggs? 

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?

sadly no

38. Ever been on a train?

yes

39. Ever been in love?

i am.

40. Do you have a cell-phone?

No, I have a MOBILE phone, American.

41. Are you too forgiving?

Yes, sadly.

42. Do you use chap stick?

yes.

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?

Working.

44. Can you use chop sticks?

Not really.

45. Ever have cream puffs?

No.

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?

Yeh

47. What was the last question you asked?

who the fuck are you really

48. What was the last CD you bought?

who knows

49. Boys or girls?

Boys.

50. What is your bus number for school?

i dont ride by bus

51. Is your hair curly?

Nope, It’s almost completely dead straight.

52. Last time you cried?

a while ago

53. Ever walked into a wall?

lots

54. Do looks matter?

Somewhat.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?

Nope.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?

Surely have.

57. Favorite time of the year?

spring and autumn

58. Favorite color?

red

59. Are you sarcastic?

Extremely.

60. Do you have any tattoos?

I have.

61. The last person you held hands with?

doug

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?

Nope.

63. Where was your default picture taken at?

dougs bathroom

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?

mmhmm

65. Do you like your life right now?

I love my life.

66. How often do you talk on the phone?

Everyday.

67. What is your favorite animal?

bats

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?

coke

69. Do you have good vision?

nope

70. Can you hula hoop?

I can.

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?

I have.

72. Do you have a job?

yes

73. Can you handle the truth?

Yes.

74. What are you wearing?

jeans and a shirt

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?

Heaps.

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY